Tuesday, February 01, 2011

It's time for some campaigning! (Some) Limerick East Candidates Answer Some Questions

Over at Newstalk, Tom Dunne has put together a list of questions to ask any politicians that come canvassing to your door. Quite good ones too, ranging from such topics as the merits of Ford Fiestas versus Ministerial Mercs, Ireland's morbidly obese public sector cats, to the good old HSE. While I too, over the last couple of years, have thought of a fair few questions and or rants to put to our elected members and those seeking office, owing to sheer forgetfulness and not carrying a pen and paper with me everywhere I go, don't have said questions and rants to hand. So instead, I took the easy way out, and last night re-directed Tom Dunne's questions to all the declared candidates running in the Limerick East electoral area.

For the purposes of this exercise I only asked the first eleven questions, which I e-mailed last night. I'm going to publish their replies here, as they come in.

First off the mark was Cllr Joe Leddin, Labour , here was his reply:

James,
Labour will shortly launch our universal health insurance plan which will be centered around the medical needs of a patient and not their ability to pay,
Labour has launched a policy reform document outlining 140 proposed changes on how Government does its business
Labour will launch our economic plan including €500 m jobs fund on thursdat next, we opposed the ban bailout and were the only party to vote against same
Limerick has reduced from 5 to 4 seats so if other 5/4 seat constituencies were also reduced then we would reduce the dail by between 30/40 T.D.'s, i will be attending the St Patricks day parade in Limerick
Our website is updating policy documents on a daily basis if you require additional information
regards
So a fairly comprehensive reply then, not sure if all eleven questions were addressed in their entirety though.

Next up came Michael Noonan TD, who took a brief is best approach:

Dear James,

Thank you very much for your E Mail which I have forwarded to our policy
unit for direct answer.

Yours sincerely,
MICHAEL NOONAN, T.D.

So make what you like of the responses. Decide for yourself is a rushed together personal response better than a neat and short reply passing the buck onto an advisor. Perhaps a handwritten letter would have been better, but then time is ticking down to February 25th. I'll be posting any other responses I get here.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

A reliable man

A reliable man

If you want to listen to a good example of phone-in radio show callers getting the complete wrong end of the stick, hear a former Minister for Defence show he has a sense of humour, and here a great rebuttal, have a listen to today's Liveline, featuring Joe Duffy, Willie O'Dea, Anthony and Blindboy Boatclub. Here's the man who was reared in a house where the parents hosted parties where drinking and drugging and all sorts went on. Judge for yeerselves if it did him any harm.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Park endangered by Limerick City Gallery

This story was in the Leader this evening.

Apparently the City Gallery is too overcrowded, and it is planning to extend on three sides.

Which leads me to conclude that the People's Park will shrink.

The Park already lost space in the opposite corner to that hideous block of apartments during the Celtic Tiger years. No fault of the City Gallery perhaps.


However, if the City Gallery does need to expand, I'd much rather it relocated rather than take away the space of a valuable public amenity.

Many visitors I've spoken to speak very highly of the park but not so much of the Gallery. (Maybe they found it too overcrowded - though in fact most of them just told me they thought it was boring, each to their own when it comes to art I suppose...)

It just seems a pity that should these plans go ahead, the Park will be further reduced in size.

Photo: Tourist Republic

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Why did Alan Kelly MEP call for the resignation of Mayor of Limerick Kevin Kiely?

I find it outrageous that Labour MEP Alan Kelly would call for the resignation of an elected holder of public office on the grounds that he doesn't agree with what he says. Freedom of speech is enshrined in our constitution, and I believe that Mayor Kiely was simply exercising this right in his comments reported in the Irish Examiner this week.

There is nothing wrong with Mr Kiely criticising so-called "welfare tourism" where it does exist. My criticism of him would be that he didn't indicate that social welfare fraud by Irish people is equally as harmful as abuse by those from overseas.

According to the Limerick Leader, Mr Kelly said that Mr Kiely's comments smack of "right wing comments." Surely as a member of Fine Gael, a right-wing party, it is only right and proper that Mayor Kiely should be coming out with right wing comments? I recall that Leo Varadkar mooted the idea of adopting a Spanish-style pay immigrants to go home style policy in the last 18 months or so. It must be said that the Spanish system and any proposals Varadkar mentioned would be limited to non-EU nationals.

Despite what Mr Kelly was reported to have said in the Leader, Limerick has not always been welcome to outsiders. To say so is just a warm and fuzzy meaningless electorate-pleasing soundbite.

I believe Alan Kelly should retract his call for the Mayor's resignation. I too disagree with Mayor Kiely's sentiments, and am actually alarmed at his grasp of how the social welfare system in this country operates. However, he has simply voiced his opinion, thereby encouraging much-needed debate on the issue of welfare entitlements.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Headline writers: Beware the Diving German

This tale which is a warning for football headline writers everywhere appeared in Mary Hannigan's Planet Football this morning.

Klinsmann is not prepared to bear this cross

IT’S not entirely uncommon for the expression ‘he’ll be crucified for that’ to be used in a sporting context, but German paper Die Tageszeitung took it a step further when writing about Jurgen Klinsmann after Bayern Munich were hammered by Wolfsburg in the league and then Barcelona in the first leg of their Champions League quarter-final.

Beside the headline “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life” (taken from Monty Python’s Life of Brian) the paper used a crucifixion image of Klinsmann on a cross. “From Germany’s superstar to Bayern’s bogeyman,” read the sub-headline. “Sonny boy Jurgen Klinsmann loses one match after another. Why the fallen saviour faces crucifixion.” Did Jurgen see the, eh, funny side? Well, no. The paper promptly received a letter from his lawyers claiming that their client had been “deeply and massively violated” by the image, and that they were suing for damages. They reckon, if successful, the case will cost Die Tageszeitung €100,000.

Bayern spokesman Markus Hoerwick said the affair was “perhaps the worst gaffe ever made by the German media”, a comment, incidentally, that drew this response from the UK Telegraph: “A little hyperbolic given that the German media was in the hands of Goebbels for a decade”. Lovely.

Editor Bascha Mika insisted the paper only “nailed Klinsmann to the cross metaphorically” as a reference to how the club had turned against him, after he had been their golden boy. “I expected a better sense of humour from Bayern Munich and especially from Jurgen Klinsmann,” she said.


Most of all, it reminds us that The Daily Telegraph will always be The Daily Telegraph.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

James Vs Joshua

Last week I tried my hand at downloading films and TV programmes legally with iTunes but you cannot buy them from the iTunes Ireland store. So I emailed customer support about this. All I got was this ridiculously cheerful, but perfectly useless, response from a chap called Joshua, my new friend. I've boldened the weirder elements of his e-mail.

Dear James,

Hi there Joshua here again from Apple iTunes and unfortunately my friend (Kebab restaurant employees are the only people I ever allow to address me in this way. ) the only store you will be able to make your purchases from is the Ireland store . I know how this could be frustrating for you. Me being from the U S A (I've never seen it spelt this way, maybe on the side of space shuttles. What's with the spaces between the letters? i would love to purchase from other countries myself (Doubtful, to say the least.) but Apple just hasn't made that option possible yet. But rest assured Apple is a huge company (irrelevant) and Im (Obviously your huge company never taught you how to use an apostrophe. By the way, when you write the first-person singular pronoun how come you think it's acceptable to write a small i sometimes in other parts of this e-mail?) sure somewhere in the future we might be able to purchase from other countries. Let me know if you have any other question i would be happy them for you. (Now you're just talking jibberish.)

Happy New Years. (How dare he wish me happy new years when Christmas hadn't even been reached yet. Bear in mind he sent this email on Friday, BEFORE, and I add BEFORE Brian Haugh's Christmas party which always takes place a few days before Christmas. Seriously, who trains these people.)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Marathon des Alpes-Maritimes: Nice-Cannes

Marathon des Alpes-Maritimes: Nice-Cannes

A Review

This marathon starts off on the Promenade des Anglais in Nice and winds its way westwards along the Mediterranean coastline taking in five other towns before finishing up on the prom in Cannes just outside the Palais des Festivals, where the Cannes Film Festival is held. This year about 10,000 runners took part.

The race was won by one Jacob Kitur of Kenya who crossed the finishing line in 2h11'12'', so a bit slower than the Dublin Marathon. Not sure if that tells us if it's a fast marathon or not.

There are pacemakers too for people with objectives from 3hours to 4hrs30 and every 15 minute time in between. At the marathon expo (open from Thursday to Saturday before the race on Sunday) you could get these colour-coded wrist-bands, depending on your objective they broke down the race into what your time should be at different distances. The marathon expo in a park beside the starting line seemed very impressive, lots of bells and whistles laid out under a 2,000 square metre canopy. Also a nice computer animation taking you through the course. Good stalls too promoting other marathons, reminded me a bit of doing my Leaving Cert again heading to the Higher Options day. Impressive goody bag, featuring a backpack and an energy gel, got a medal and t-shirt on finishing.

Very well-supported by the public as you pass through the different towns. Quite a number of bands playing along the route, ranging from bongo drums, jazz, the solo saxophonist playing the James Bond theme tune in Antibes, to the death metal lads at 40km on the way into Cannes who nearly made me collapse with their noise.

The best bits:
Pretty reasonably priced: depending on how early you register, for the 2008 one it could cost you from €35 (if you registered 10 months before the race) to €70 (10 days before the race.)

The start numbers also had the runner's first name printed on it. I hadn't come across this in a race before and found it led to encouraging shouts of "Allez James" from the crowd. Unfortunately for my friend, the French spectators seemed to struggle with pronouncing "Eoghan".

Logistics were top notch. The starting city, Nice, is very easy to get to with regular flights from Dublin with both Ryanair and Aer Lingus. Free trains back from Cannes to Nice for the runners (God help the ordinary non-sweaty passengers). As it is held in November, the off-season for seaside towns like Nice, hotels near the starting line are in plentiful supply and offer good value for money.

18 to 20 degrees, gorgeous coastline scenery, deep blue sea, palm tree-lined course, made all the more sweeter when I found out from my sister that it was 3 degrees and raining horizontally back at home. Apparently last year it was much colder. (Though the website seems to indicate that this was the first time the marathon was held.) However the warm weather seems to last longer in the South East of France than in the rest of the country.

Race passes through 7 towns, so a nice bit of variety. Good support from spectators in the towns themselves.

Got myself a personal best, 3:54:40, knocking nearly 20 minutes of my first and only other marathon, the Connemarathon earlier this year.

The pasta served at the end of the race. Did it hit the spot or did it hit the spot.

A television helicopter hovering over the starting line and following the race for the opening 3km or so.

The worst bits:
As is the case with all French races and some other overseas races, you have to get a medical certificate from a doctor saying you're race fit. While I can see the merits of this rule, it makes entering the race maybe 1% more hassle than entering races that don't have this requirement.

Seemed to be pretty big queues for the post-race massages in the recovery tents. Not something I've gone for before anyway, so didn't bother me.

Realising that the television helicopter hovering over us at the starting line didn't stop tracking the race after 3km, it was actually there to film the elite runners, who were now miles ahead. Can't really think of many other negatives to be honest.

Difficulty: 2/5

Beginner suitability: Yes. Very flat race. Total ascent is 34m spread out over 42.195km. Most of this ascent takes place as you go around the Cap d'Antibes, a promontory sticking into the sea just after the town of Antibes, offering great views of the bits of the course you've already completed. There is a cut-off point of 6 hours.

Drinks: Water stations every 5km. Served in plastic cups, something some runners have a gripe about. At every water station there were apricots, bananas and orange slices too. Think there were two stations serving energy drinks, and a couple with cola as well as water. One sponge station located about 2km after each water station.

Top Tip
: Don't order the chicken kebab from Kebab King up by Nice train station the night before unless you REALLY have to. Also there is a fairly steep but thankfully fairly short hill after 25km, take things handy coming up it.

I'd highly recommend this marathon, more details are on their website:
http://www.marathon06.com/AN/index.htm

Friday, October 31, 2008

Who would Limerick vote for next Tuesday?*

A short vox pop, conducted on the streets of Limerick, last Tuesday, in which folk were asked which US presidential candidate they would vote for if they had the chance to do so.

On a related note, below is a still from the excellent music video over at JibJab.com of the Bob Dylanesque song "Time for some Campaigning". Check it out.


*Clue: His first name has more than four letters.

Not the best advertisement for long-distance running

In most normal sports, when an athlete comes off the pitch after a victory or fine performance, normally they offer platitudes expressing their delight and elation. Not so Galwayman Michael O'Connor, best of the Irish in last Monday's Dublin Marathon. In an immediate post-race interview reported by the Irish Times, O'Connor was quoted as saying:

"It's my last run," the father-of-two declared. "I've arthritis in both feet and I'm sick of it. It's time to go playing football with the young lad I think, and drink a few pints."

I just really can't imagine the such a frankly downbeat reaction coming from the winner of a national title in rival sports, such as Gaelic Football or soccer. Hardly the best advertisment to get youngsters into the marathoning, but then again I reckon if you've just run 26 and a bit miles in 02:21:00 you're pretty much entitled to say whatever the hell you want to say.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Blatter gets tough on fat cats in football just for the money

"There are national laws in Switzerland, for example, when you buy property or make an investment, you must prove yourself," he explained. "You have to prove your link with the area.

"We must ask ourselves about what motivates these owners and are they really interested in the game or just making money?

So said FIFA President Sepp Blatter at a meeting at the European Parliament yesterday, in which he expressed alarm over foreign ownership of football clubs in Europe.

Interesting that ice hockey-loving Sepp could say this with a straight face, considering his own rather tenuous links with the canton in Switzerland where he was registered as a resident in order to cut his tax-bill, as detailed in Andrew Jennings' 2006 book, Foul!: The Secret World of FIFA: Bribes, Vote Rigging and Ticket Scandals.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

America has a lot to answer for

And I'm not talking about the rights and wrongs of leaving the world's financial system in a holy mess through wreckless lending by American banks and lacklustre enforcement of financial regulations. No, it's far more serious than that.

If my understanding of this Runner's World article is to be believed, and I'm not sure if it should be, it appears that some American Universities allow their students take modules in marathon training.

No wonder high-skilled jobs are being outsourced east faster than Haile Gebreselassie last Sunday in Berlin.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

The exit polls are... pretty meaningless, in this case

The Economist, in their ever-increasing drive to make their recently revamped website more interactive, have launched a Global Electoral College, to see how the world would vote in the US Presidential Election.

Needless to say, of the countries whose residents have voted, all of them have ended up a very Democrat shade of blue on the world map.

While I like magazine's the idea, the results of the survey are pretty pointless for obvious reasons. In any event, the 77% showing of support from US Economist readers for Obama contrasts with the much more balanced split of support for the two candidates as can be seen in this wide collection of American polling and media agency polls.

One wonders would international surveys like this, in favour of Obama, have the effect of bolstering support for the Republican candidate? Could support for McCain be increased because Americans, just like Irish voters in the Lisbon Treaty Referendum, according to Charlie McCreevy, don't like to be "bullied" by external forces into delivering the right result?

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Public Prone to Preach Public Sector Reform

Terry Prone is to be commended for her recent article in the Irish Examiner defending civil service administrators, who she feels have been made scapegoats for the current ills of the economy. They are a soft target, and Ms Prone is quite right in pointing out how unfair it is to smear a large numbers of workers in this country because of the source of their pay cheque.

While she is correct in stating that the public service may not have caused the recession, the question must be asked, why has the public sector been made a scapegoat in the first place? There can be no doubt that there is a widespread perception of waste of resources within the public service. Another commentator in the same newspaper's opinion pages, Fergus Finlay, has written recently about the large sums of money civil servants can claim in unwarranted travel expenses.

Regarding the "parallel function" served by administrators that Ms Prone writes about, I wonder is she referring to the exasperation felt by many over the duplication of public servant positions brought about by the failure of the decentralisation programme?

I don't think, as Ms Prone writes, that the public feel it is OK to have gardai and teachers, but no administrators. Rather, I think people resent the fact that ground-level public staff, are unfairly compensated in comparison to their senior administrators. The December 2007 Report of the Public Service Benchmarking Body recommended increases in earnings, ranging from 1 per cent to 15 per cent, for public servants at senior levels. No such increase was recommended for rank and file nurses, teachers, gardaí, civil servants, local authority and health sector staff.

It is natural that in the current economic circumstances, the calls for public sector reform are getting louder by the day.

EDIT - Saturday 1st November: Just found out from a neighbour today that The Irish Examiner saw fit to publish the above on their letters page on Monday the 22nd of September, a fortnight after Terry Prone's article. Pure rapid.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

War

Russia claim their forces have killed 2,000 Georgian military and civilian personnel. Such is war. In what other area of human endeavour could you get away with "claiming" to have killed so many people? In day to day life killers do all they can to avoid being blamed for their killing: arrests are evaded; are criminal indictments are defended vigorously.

Such is war, which has a habit of turning normal conceived wisdom up on its head, which is why it should be avoided at all costs.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Benicassim Festival 2008: Some reflections

It may have been pretty much impossible to get a proper sleep(-in) in the tents, as curled up underneath a sheet of polystyrene is not the best place to be when tempertures climb into their thirties first thing in the morning. However the good thing about the Festival Internacional de Benicassim was that acts not starting til the evening was there was plenty of time to catch up with the kip at the beach during the day.

Saying that, the walk to the beach was a hell of a trek and the shuttle buses that were advertised between the venue and the town seemed few and far between. We rented bikes which were very handy. Wouldn’t have liked to have been in Benicamp though - it seemed that before the festival many people had the impression from various internet forums that this was the best place, and indeed it filled up by Monday. From what I heard it was short of facilities and I wouldn’t have fancied the walk back there after the concert each night.

Had a great time, not sure if I would come back though, it would depend on the line-up really. It is a great idea though having the concerts start in the evening as it means your days are completely free. There was plenty in Benicassim to do, by plenty I mean the beach or the water park, which is fine by me.

Onto the music:

i) Sigur Rós were very good on the Thursday night. However, there seemed to be too many people in the crowd where we were acting up to the Brits Abroad Chelsea Dagger-loving stereotype, many of them acting way too rowdy for a Sigur Rós gig which was disappointing.

ii) Raconteurs were bloody fantastic. Very bounce-along-toable stuff out of the charisma-filled Jack White and his Nashville band. Old school rock and roll as it should be.

iii) Hot Chip were amazing. I was also amazed when I heard from my friend that soon after their set I gave him my pint, mumbled something to the effect of NO MORE and ran off. Next thing I could remember was waking up on the tarmac very close to where we had watched them at 6.30 - bear in mind they finished playing at midnight and Josh Wink and others were pounding out the choons 50 metres from me.

iv) Calvin Harris - did exactly what a very good dance artist should do, that is get the crowd hopping, not a beat was out of place.

v) Leonard Cohen - a true gent, highlight of the weekend. Very humble man, thanked all the members of his band individually, also repeatedly told us how it was a privilege to play for us. Pete Doherty, The Zutons, Amy Winehouse and others could learn from his refreshingly gracious attitude. Hallelujah alone made the trip worthwhile. As did chilling out by the beach all day, of course!

¡Adios amigos!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Three, actually four, observations on Lisbon

1. It suffered a horrific earthquake in 1755, during Voltaire's lifetime - a poster depicting said earthquake lives on to this day in one of the language labs in UL.


2. It is the capital city of one of the darker horses of Euro 2008, who are looking very dark at the moment, if darkness equates to looking incredibly impressive indeed after tonight's performance. Less can be said about Football365's sub-editor for the opening paragraph of their report on the game.

3. The Lisbon Treaty campaign, if you were to believe some of the more hysterical analyses of it, has been a mixture of either misinformation from the No campaigners, or bullying/guilt-tripping from the Yes campaigners, and plenty of patronising from all concerned - so which ever offends you less, being bullied or lied to, vote with them. See, for instance, some of the comments responding to David McWilliams' rather excellent commentary on the makeup of the Yes and No camps in today's Irish Independent.

4. On the Lisbon Treaty Referendum Count Centre in Limerick: this will be the University of Limerick Sports Arena. In other words the arena where I was due to play indoor soccer this evening, which was to my first game back after a prolonged absence - I believe March was the last time I kicked a luminous yellow ball in anger. Why should hundreds of (possibly apolitical) sportspeople be put out because of a treaty that doesn't really worry all that many of them? Surely there are other disused buildings in Limerick that could have been chosen - how about the former Microtherm factory building in Bruff Co Limerick, whose ex-employees featured in a recent RTE documentary, Where's My Job Gone? Or would that be sending out the wrong signals?

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Do as we say, not as we do

This morning's UK Independent ran a front page story about a secret deal to keep Iraq under US control indefinitely.

Rewind to February 2003. I believe President Bush said one of the reasons for the invasion of Iraq in the first place was to foster democracy there.

Interesting then that the Independent's Patrick Cockburn wrote this morning that:
"The US is adamantly against the new security agreement being put to a referendum in Iraq, suspecting that it would be voted down."
Even a teenager wouldn't expect to be treated by their parents with these levels of hypocrisy. No wonder it is predicted that the deal, the terms of which include 50 US military bases, control of Iraqi airspace and legal immunity for all American soldiers and contractors, will lead to yet more explosive conflict.

Image: US Marines in Iraq, Wikimedia Commons

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Economic Aches

Last Saturday night I was told by a friend me that The Economist told him that Ronald Reagan once told whoever would listen that inflation is “as violent as a mugger, as frightening as an armed robber and as deadly as a hit-man.” In these gloomy economic times, with FÁS predicting losses of 55,000 construction sector jobs by the end of 2009, when the credit crunch seems to be to property portfolio-holders and young house-buyers what “Post 9/11” was to civil liberties fans and Guantanamo Bay detainees, it is worth spending some time mulling over some of the grimmer scenarios for the Irish economy.

The construction boom, upon which much of Ireland's recent economic growth was based on, according to some commentators, appears to be over. The country is dotted with housing estates that appear to be left unfinished as their builders go bust. Anecdotally, I know of one auctioneering firm whose staff size has fallen to a third of what it was last year while their monthly sales income has decreased by a factor of nine.

One point I took from May 24th's lead story in The Economist is that while inflation per se may not be all that high, employees' perceptions of inflation can become higher and this in turn leads to higher wage demands. As there is no sign of us seeing any decrease in the number of inflation related headline stories between now and the national pay talks, it is a near-certainty that public and semi-state sector employees will push for wage increases. They may even be granted the rises, with the help of collective industrial action. Joe Private Sector Employee will see what his public sector counterpart was doing and will naturally follow suit.

And how will the multinational employer of JPSE react when himself and his colleagues begin to strike? Will they negotiate? Maybe. Will they accede to the JPSEs' demands? Doubtful. You can bet your bottom devalued dollar that JPSE's job will be outsourced offshore to a land with lower wages and less collective bargaining power. Even though according to the European Restructuring Monitor only 8% of EU jobs lost to restructuring between 2003 and 2006 have involved offshoring, this figure is likely to rise, at least in Ireland's case.

'Inflation' photo by Joshua Davis

Futbol Mondial's FIFA 2008 Fanatics

Futbol Mondial is a great programme at the best of times, with the offering from the Trans World International stable normally bringing us such delights as the Asian Champions League, how an Ecuadorian footballer copes with life at Wigan Athletic and Tomas Brolin – life after football. However, I was left feeling a little disturbed by the last item they ran on tonight's show. After running a perfectly pointless, if perfectly enjoyable and fairly nostalgic story about a Romanian all star select playing against the World in a charity match organised by Gheorge Hagi and Gica Popescu in Bucharest recently, they went and spoiled it all by bringing us a report on, wait for it, the FIFA Interactive World Cup held in Berlin at the end of May. The competition featured 32 young men (they were all young men) each of whom possessed a pair of eyes normally only seen on ordinary people at the end of a very long week of caffeine-fuelled exam cramming. Their skin complexions paled in comparison.

Some of the player profiles left me genuinely bowled over. A certain Mr Smit from the Netherlands, the reigning champion, claimed to spend 70 hours a week practicing. From the cut of him I'd say this was a gross underestimate.

Anthony Baffoe, the second Ghanaian to play in the Bundesliga according to Wikipedia (after Ibrahim Sunday, if you needed to know) and the patron of the competition, was heard justifying to the interviewer his own brood’s obsession with football video games as opposed to the real-life version of the 11-a-side game. ‘My kids, they play them all the time, and you know, they learn the names of 600 real life players, which is great.’ So there you have it – spending hours and hours developing arthritis of the thumbs and playing a game of Russian Roulette with an epileptic seizure as the prize is preferable to reading the German equivalent of Shoot! and gleaning their useless soccer trivia that way.

The narrator noted that for some reason Barcelona v Barcelona matches proved to be very popular with the competitors. A Spaniard won the blasted competition in the end – the young Real Madrid supporter opting to be, surprise surprise, Barcelona. An omen for things to come in Euro 2008, asked the voiceover guy to no-one in particular. Actually no, the antics of these FIFA 08 fanatics have absolutely no bearing on the outcome of this summer’s tournament. Gott sei Dank!